From Bystander to Upstander: How to Speak Up Against Workplace Harassment

Written by: T. Aquila

The workplace should be a space where everyone can collaborate, share ideas, and achieve optimal results for their company and become the best versions of themselves. 

Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. 

Often, we have no choice but to witness workplace harassment between our coworkers and supervisors. This can look like emotional abuse such as belittling, guilt-tripping, ostracization, and sabotage; sexual abuse such as catcalling, sending flirtatious online messages, and making objectifying comments about another person; and verbal abuse such as name-calling and sarcastic remarks. On the other hand, they can also be not as obvious; there are microaggressions, which are statements and actions that weren’t intended to be offensive or discriminatory, but are based on outdated or inappropriate assumptions of the person’s identity. 

Further, there are times where stepping up when someone at work does something unpleasant doesn’t feel right. We end up becoming bystanders, and this can happen due to multiple reasons. Sometimes, we’re worried that we’ll risk our own jobs after calling out problematic behavior, especially if the action is committed by a figure of authority. Others may not know what the best course of action is when workplace harassment occurs.

When it is possible for us to intervene, speaking up against workplace harassment is always the better idea, even if we aren’t directly involved. If we remain silent, there’s a possibility that the perpetrator will continue their behavior, harming the victim’s wellbeing even further. At worst, the consequences of this behavior can be fatal.

Fortunately, there is something we can do as bystanders. If we happen to come across harassment in the workplace, follow these steps to minimize negative outcomes.

Before approaching someone in trouble…

• Assess the situation. Are you able to safely help them in any way? Would stepping in cause more harm than good? Your personal safety should be top priority.
• Be in a group. It’s typically safer to intervene when you are not alone. If you are on your own, it is sometimes better to report to a larger group of people and team up.
• Care for the victim. If possible, prioritize communicating with the person affected by the harm.

Direct action

When you come across workplace harassment, call out the negative behavior you just witnessed. Explain why their behavior is harming the other person. While explaining, do so as politely and calmly as possible to avoid further altercation. Stick to the exact situation and do not exaggerate what the other person did.

Example: You hear your supervisor demeaning another employee’s outfit for being “too revealing” even though she has already followed the company’s code of conduct. You come over to the two and say, “I think you are being disrespectful to [employee’s name] by shaming her fashion choice.”

Another approach you can use is to ask for clarification from the person committing the harm. This provides an opportunity for that person to reflect on what they have just said or done.

Example: Using the same situation as above, you ask, “Could you repeat what you meant by that? I’m not sure I understood what you said.”

Distract

If it’s impossible to directly intervene in the harmful interaction, you might want to do something noticeable enough for the situation to diffuse. This can look like interrupting the conversation by talking to the perpetrator, so that the other person can leave.

Example: You see a coworker “checking out” another coworker while tidying up your desk. You call that coworker to chat with you about your assignment, giving time for the other coworker to escape.

Alternatively, you can change the focus of the conversation as a signal to the other person that you do not agree with or support their statement.

Example: A coworker is talking about how another coworker’s lunch “smells bad.” To diffuse the situation, you say, “Can we talk about something else?”