When we are enamoured by someone’s romantic gestures, it’s often easy for us to miss out on glaring signs of abuse. Further, in the age of personal branding and highly curated profiles on social media, these signs can be even less obvious.
Recognizing these risks, atAmerica collaborated with Bullyid App to present a two-hour talk show with the theme “Online Dating Red Flags.” As part of atAmerica’s IndonesiaUSA75 celebration, this talk show aims to introduce young adults of potential dangers they might face during online matchmaking as well as how to identify, avoid, and address them. By inviting multiple guest speakers from different sectors, the talk show provided a multifaceted perspective in understanding intimate partner abuse.
Our founder and executive director, Agita Pasaribu, had the pleasure of sharing her insight running a nonprofit organization for victim-survivors of online abuse — many of whom experienced abuse from the partners they meet through dating apps. She highlighted a common case: victim-survivors whose ex-partners used intimate videos and images to blackmail them after ending their relationships. This act, colloquially known as “revenge porn” or, more appropriately, intimate image abuse, could cause mental and reputational harm to its victims. Additionally, according to the Sexual Violence Crime Act (UU Tindak Pidana Kekerasan Seksual), intimate image abuse counts as technology-facilitated sexual violence, making it unlawful.
Alongside Agita was Mia Amelinda, a young woman who experienced intimate partner abuse from a man she met through an online dating app. During the COVID-19 pandemic, she installed a dating app for the first time and met someone who felt like a great match. In two months, the relationship quickly grew from casual to intimate. However, her partner’s behavior completely changed afterwards, and Mia eventually learned that her partner recorded her intimate videos without her consent. The partner demanded a certain amount of money from Mia in exchange for the videos’ privacy. Eventually, she reported her experience to Bullyid App and had the courage to report him to authorities.
Rewatch the talk show here:
About Bullyid App
Bullyid App is an Indonesian technology nonprofit operated by NMA Foundation providing survivor-centred legal, psychological and digital-safety support for people experiencing online harm and technology-facilitated gender-based violence. We supports adults affected by the non-consensual sharing, threatened sharing, or misuse of intimate images, including sextortion and image-based sexual abuse.
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